crap.

[distantvampire]

so yeah. this week has been pretty harsh on me emotionally.
I've heard that John's been saying some pretty harsh things about me, but I dont know if that's true. And then Ryan decides to have the 'college and us' talk with me, which, as all of you know, is one of those things that scares the hell out of me and Im not ready for it.

I'm still too immature to think about the future, too afraid of things changing. Do I put too much into relationships? Having that one person be my world, everything that makes me whole? It crushes me everytime, in the end.

TheHeroOfTime05: Ya, im not very good with distances...

I'm about to cry. again.

Comments

no...

[red-fuzzy.livejournal.com]

Ya dont really put too much into a relationship... You give all of yourself to that person... What they do with it is up to them and if they throw ya away then it's their loss. In the meantime it may be hard right when it happens but you'll be happy again.... I have to believe this.... I gave my all to Christine and she threw me away for John... You can only hope that wont happen to you, chances are with the distance and stuff it very well may end... But dont cross that bridge till you're there... This may not be the nicest thing anyone could say to ya but it is honest and straightforward... Believing that I will find someone who wont get scared and run away or leave me is the only way I can keep going... I had overcome it with Christine a few times already... Kristi fell in love with me then got scared and ran... And supposedly Christine "loved me so much it was hard to comprehend, it kept getting stronger and stronger every day"... And then this... I had a stable relationship with her for nearly 4 months.... And then things fell apart because John stuck his nose in and took her away from me... Now I know I can't blame this all on John because Christine is at fault in this too... But damn... I still love her so much and that isnt going to go away any time soon, and I may be willing to give her a second chance, The future is uncertain I just dont want him to pull the same shit he used to anymore...
Oh yeah this is about you... Sorry... I'll shut up...