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Private Journal.
Aug. 17th, 2004 08:31 pm
Comment to be added.
Aug. 17th, 2004
So congradulations for me, I have been at school now for....about a week. And what a week it's been. My parents are aware that I'm still talking to Gordon, funny that they bring that up when I haven't spoken to him in nearly two months, but hey. Whatever the hell they want to do, right?
so yeah. Robotic's started again monday, and I'm so happy! I'm vice president, and I'm going to have a LOT of changes this year compared to last year, last year our president rarely showed up (though Bob is the only reason I met Colin, so I will forever love Bob regardless of anything else!) Jen is the President, and between she and I, Robotic's is going to kick ass! John's got three girls to contend with, Shantel (who is slightly annoyed that she got pushed off by Christine), Chirstine (whom I hate with a passion) and me.
he's choosing between me and Christine. And it kills me, ya know....because I care so much about him, I really do...he is one of my best friends in the world, and Christine is cheating on her boyfriend with John. They're not together or anything, but she's attempting to get him to go out with her. Because she says she'll dump her boyfriend for him. But she hasn't yet. so she's a whore instantly. Whereas I'm.....not any better really, but hell....two months is a long ass time to wait for ANY CONTACT (yeah. a hello and then suddenly signing off doesn't count) but still!
I've liked John for so long....too long. It kills me! But I can't make him pick me. I know i can't, but that doesn't mean that I dont want to make him pick me, and just me! DAMN YOU SUSHI! *sighs* oh fucking well.
I guess it's karma. but for what I dont know. maybe for starting to date Gordon before I had broken up with David. Maybe it's for my wanting to date John without breaking up with Gordon. Right now I dont want to talk to him, I Just want to talk to John! He said he was going to pick today, and I saw him with her this monring, and then he also came over to talk to me...but he didn't ask me. He didn't mention it! Gods I'm going to die not knowing, and it's fucking Karma that's doing it. It's screwing me over with the one guy that I Like right now, right now I'm just pissed at the world though. I'm listening to Evanescene's song about that forever love, and then Ashlee Simpson's song 'Pieces of Me' and texting John.
I have to know. So I asked 'what did she say?' yeah. I'm so fucking stupid! She prolly said wait till I break up with Brent, and then of course!
DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU!
*sighs*
and I've got all this crap at Mikara and Smoke Rise and BS I should be doing, but I'm not. Becuase I suck major ass and I'm stupid. I'm sorry to everyone. Maybe I should just go die now?
but then that would leave Robotics in the hands of less than capable people (besides Krystal, Shantel and Jennifer) and I can't have them all alone either! They would kill someone. seriously. we all should be in anger management, it's an unwritten rule for Robotics.
wish me luck? I Need it. becuase I'm dying here.
so yeah. Robotic's started again monday, and I'm so happy! I'm vice president, and I'm going to have a LOT of changes this year compared to last year, last year our president rarely showed up (though Bob is the only reason I met Colin, so I will forever love Bob regardless of anything else!) Jen is the President, and between she and I, Robotic's is going to kick ass! John's got three girls to contend with, Shantel (who is slightly annoyed that she got pushed off by Christine), Chirstine (whom I hate with a passion) and me.
he's choosing between me and Christine. And it kills me, ya know....because I care so much about him, I really do...he is one of my best friends in the world, and Christine is cheating on her boyfriend with John. They're not together or anything, but she's attempting to get him to go out with her. Because she says she'll dump her boyfriend for him. But she hasn't yet. so she's a whore instantly. Whereas I'm.....not any better really, but hell....two months is a long ass time to wait for ANY CONTACT (yeah. a hello and then suddenly signing off doesn't count) but still!
I've liked John for so long....too long. It kills me! But I can't make him pick me. I know i can't, but that doesn't mean that I dont want to make him pick me, and just me! DAMN YOU SUSHI! *sighs* oh fucking well.
I guess it's karma. but for what I dont know. maybe for starting to date Gordon before I had broken up with David. Maybe it's for my wanting to date John without breaking up with Gordon. Right now I dont want to talk to him, I Just want to talk to John! He said he was going to pick today, and I saw him with her this monring, and then he also came over to talk to me...but he didn't ask me. He didn't mention it! Gods I'm going to die not knowing, and it's fucking Karma that's doing it. It's screwing me over with the one guy that I Like right now, right now I'm just pissed at the world though. I'm listening to Evanescene's song about that forever love, and then Ashlee Simpson's song 'Pieces of Me' and texting John.
I have to know. So I asked 'what did she say?' yeah. I'm so fucking stupid! She prolly said wait till I break up with Brent, and then of course!
DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU!
*sighs*
and I've got all this crap at Mikara and Smoke Rise and BS I should be doing, but I'm not. Becuase I suck major ass and I'm stupid. I'm sorry to everyone. Maybe I should just go die now?
but then that would leave Robotics in the hands of less than capable people (besides Krystal, Shantel and Jennifer) and I can't have them all alone either! They would kill someone. seriously. we all should be in anger management, it's an unwritten rule for Robotics.
wish me luck? I Need it. becuase I'm dying here.
