haha.

So I just finished the third book of the Twilight Saga. I ran out of books on the boat so I snatched Twilight from my sister and breezed through New Moon & Eclipse just as quickly.


I'm not anticipating good things from the movie because I didn't bother to pay any attention to the character descriptions so I've got a MUCH different appearance for everyone in my head than what is fact. I'll probably still end up taking her because that's the kind of sister I am though lol.


They're a whole different breed of Vampire than my Coven of Articulates. I like the concept, and so far, I'm actually liking the series. I hate the wolves though. At least, I think Jacob is a pushy dick.

Thoughts on love.

I've always wondered how a person can say 'Well, its hard to choose between love #1 & Love #2.' I dont see exactly how someone can love more than one person, just because I don't find myself capable of doing that. At least, I didn't at the only time I really did.


Now, don't get me wrong, I love Ryan. I'm faithful, but that doesn't mean that my thoughts never strayed, that I never wondered what it would be like to press my lips against another man, to take him to my bed.....to have him as mine. I believe I've told this particular soul 'Oh, if Ryan wasn't in the picture...." and left it at that, but I highly doubt he understands the full extent of my passion for him. I can still think of him and have a shiver run down my spine. But I would almost call that lust if not for the connection I've always felt we've had.

We're both in relationships, and to my understanding both of us are very happy. Doesn't mean that the one time deal might not be interesting, doesn't mean that we're bad people - it's just a thought. My attraction to him, despite rarely talking to him anymore (a fact I'm sad about.) is ever rampant. I'm jealous, I will admit, because I do want him. Want him as mine, the same way I consider Ryan mine. I don't quite know if it's a primal thing, because I think it's more intense than just instinctual urges, but there's always that thought.


I guess the Twilight Saga put me in a reflective mood because the main girl is trying to come to terms with loving two men at once. Both are very different for her, both have a bond with her that is vastly different than the bond the other one has with her. I'd consider Ryan my Edward....and he'd be my Jacob.

And now as I'm sort of giggling over my musing, wondering why at the height of our friendship we never pushed that limit (and not regretting it never happened mind you, just wondering why it never did) I wonder, in my selfish heart of hearts, if he ever thought of me that way too.