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Continued from the previous post.
Why does it bother me so much? Why does it affect me? Why do I even care?
I guess it's because it was years of a character's life. A character who was deathy afraid of her own heritage because of what happened to her entire family, and thus renounced any of her own person for her husbands. A husband she expected would hold her up, take her to better places, and to care for her. This is something that she has developed and done since I started playing her - she was looking for something other than the Nalani heritage that Skysweeper left for her. That Reimei had such a family heritage was just convenient for me.
I do get attached to my characters. I felt for Song when she lost Aiden and Creed, I feel for Rhyme as she's struggling to find her sister and try and find herself again - but Skylark is so very much like I am, trying to escape the person that our parents where and the ways they screwed up to stand on her own feet.
What Britt did was rude to me. Flat out rude. That she sheepishly came to me going 'well, I guess I should tell you before you find out from someone else' was just...really? You can't detach yourself that far from the character and think 'Oh, this'll all be hunky dory!' It's not.
especially not since that point, you've just....thrown love all over the place and made me feel like crap. Do I think you do it to actually make me feel bad? I do. I honestly do. Because the things that I've done for you just get disregarded. But you make such a show of things when it's from her. And it makes me laugh in a way, that this is very much like a real life break up, it seems like there will always be fighting over who wins and loses. I have put money into buying art for you of your character, of our characters together, and you didn't even comment on it. A lot of other folks did though. For your birthday, I actually drew something for you and spent time painstakingly mirroring your ref's color style - I got nothing from you. Not a remark, not a thanks! not a thing. And it hurt. It was insulting. Honestly? at the end of it all I feel like you're glad to be 'done' with me, that now you have no excuse to deal with me and have been looking for a way to disentangle from me for a long time. You could have been a lot nicer about it though. You really could have.
It could have been kept a purely in character thing and not so many feelings would have been hurt if there weren't such clear lines drawn over who is on what side. If the people that I thought were my friends didn't just ignore me know that they aren't together, if a single child of ours would respond to my pms or questions.....but no. They're on your side. It's just lame.
And I do get too attached, I realize this. But it doesn't matter. Not in the long run.
Why does it bother me so much? Why does it affect me? Why do I even care?
I guess it's because it was years of a character's life. A character who was deathy afraid of her own heritage because of what happened to her entire family, and thus renounced any of her own person for her husbands. A husband she expected would hold her up, take her to better places, and to care for her. This is something that she has developed and done since I started playing her - she was looking for something other than the Nalani heritage that Skysweeper left for her. That Reimei had such a family heritage was just convenient for me.
I do get attached to my characters. I felt for Song when she lost Aiden and Creed, I feel for Rhyme as she's struggling to find her sister and try and find herself again - but Skylark is so very much like I am, trying to escape the person that our parents where and the ways they screwed up to stand on her own feet.
What Britt did was rude to me. Flat out rude. That she sheepishly came to me going 'well, I guess I should tell you before you find out from someone else' was just...really? You can't detach yourself that far from the character and think 'Oh, this'll all be hunky dory!' It's not.
especially not since that point, you've just....thrown love all over the place and made me feel like crap. Do I think you do it to actually make me feel bad? I do. I honestly do. Because the things that I've done for you just get disregarded. But you make such a show of things when it's from her. And it makes me laugh in a way, that this is very much like a real life break up, it seems like there will always be fighting over who wins and loses. I have put money into buying art for you of your character, of our characters together, and you didn't even comment on it. A lot of other folks did though. For your birthday, I actually drew something for you and spent time painstakingly mirroring your ref's color style - I got nothing from you. Not a remark, not a thanks! not a thing. And it hurt. It was insulting. Honestly? at the end of it all I feel like you're glad to be 'done' with me, that now you have no excuse to deal with me and have been looking for a way to disentangle from me for a long time. You could have been a lot nicer about it though. You really could have.
It could have been kept a purely in character thing and not so many feelings would have been hurt if there weren't such clear lines drawn over who is on what side. If the people that I thought were my friends didn't just ignore me know that they aren't together, if a single child of ours would respond to my pms or questions.....but no. They're on your side. It's just lame.
And I do get too attached, I realize this. But it doesn't matter. Not in the long run.