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This is the worst day in a long, long time.
I don't remember being so down heartened, so frustrated, so just...ran over.
Dad woke me up this morning by screaming at me, saying I'd wasted my life and that I was pathetic for not having the money for my car or having the whole room / garage situation dealt with yet.
I am just at a loss. I don't know how I can fix all of this and on top of it, the apartment is wanting us to pay almost 1000$ to replace the carpet. Just...no. no no no no. it does not take 950$ to replace the downstairs carpet. It just doesn't.
Last night was our worst game ever. I swear, if we wouldn't have to forfeit over me not being around I'd drop this shit like a rock. I got slammed a couple times because we've never faced a player that hits left handed...or right handed, I dunno - opposite of everyone else at least. That meant all his balls came to me, and I was in the out field as a damn place holder. It wasn't in the slightest anyone's fault, the team knew after the wreck I'd be worthless (not to say I'm worth anything on the field as it is) but...god. That was a BAD feeling.
My shoulder is now angry because of how many times I tried launching that thing to the in field. But yay. Whatever. At this point I'm two steps away from just wanting to walk away from everything. I'm pissed about WWS in general because I can't do the things I want to do. I'm stealing a laptop but get death glares if I so much as look at one when folks are here...I can't wait till the AC adapter gets in and then at least I can start picking back up. Slow and steady wins the race, or what the fuck ever. But I'm not even sure right now that I still want to do anything. I just...it's not like I'm pitying myself right now, but I want to catch a break or two at least.
I don't remember being so down heartened, so frustrated, so just...ran over.
Dad woke me up this morning by screaming at me, saying I'd wasted my life and that I was pathetic for not having the money for my car or having the whole room / garage situation dealt with yet.
I am just at a loss. I don't know how I can fix all of this and on top of it, the apartment is wanting us to pay almost 1000$ to replace the carpet. Just...no. no no no no. it does not take 950$ to replace the downstairs carpet. It just doesn't.
Last night was our worst game ever. I swear, if we wouldn't have to forfeit over me not being around I'd drop this shit like a rock. I got slammed a couple times because we've never faced a player that hits left handed...or right handed, I dunno - opposite of everyone else at least. That meant all his balls came to me, and I was in the out field as a damn place holder. It wasn't in the slightest anyone's fault, the team knew after the wreck I'd be worthless (not to say I'm worth anything on the field as it is) but...god. That was a BAD feeling.
My shoulder is now angry because of how many times I tried launching that thing to the in field. But yay. Whatever. At this point I'm two steps away from just wanting to walk away from everything. I'm pissed about WWS in general because I can't do the things I want to do. I'm stealing a laptop but get death glares if I so much as look at one when folks are here...I can't wait till the AC adapter gets in and then at least I can start picking back up. Slow and steady wins the race, or what the fuck ever. But I'm not even sure right now that I still want to do anything. I just...it's not like I'm pitying myself right now, but I want to catch a break or two at least.