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There used to be a fair balance between me wanting to give the fuck up and the days where I felt like the world might, just maybe, be worth it in the long run.
I'm running out of that happy feeling. I'm running out of the feeling of normalcy and just...ability to deal with stupid shit anymore. I'm sort of burnt out of a lot of things and my head is aching with the pure desire to get things in motion / keep chugging on but there is so much of me that just wants to give up it isn't even funny.
I'm still nowhere closer to a car or a situation where I can really get my life back in motion - I am however getting into better positions at the Restaurant, tomorrow I'll officially be certified and basically it makes me a badass. I helped Victor out of a tough bind yesterday and I feel good about that - but at the same time it sucks for ME because I could have used that money. He'll pay me back ASAP bt still....oh well.
I'd like for life to start picking back up soon, so that I can feel like myself again. I miss Ryan, our apartment, my everything. I really, genuinely, hate living with my parents and I think that's about 75% of my problem lol. My mood really plummets when they're involved.
I'm running out of that happy feeling. I'm running out of the feeling of normalcy and just...ability to deal with stupid shit anymore. I'm sort of burnt out of a lot of things and my head is aching with the pure desire to get things in motion / keep chugging on but there is so much of me that just wants to give up it isn't even funny.
I'm still nowhere closer to a car or a situation where I can really get my life back in motion - I am however getting into better positions at the Restaurant, tomorrow I'll officially be certified and basically it makes me a badass. I helped Victor out of a tough bind yesterday and I feel good about that - but at the same time it sucks for ME because I could have used that money. He'll pay me back ASAP bt still....oh well.
I'd like for life to start picking back up soon, so that I can feel like myself again. I miss Ryan, our apartment, my everything. I really, genuinely, hate living with my parents and I think that's about 75% of my problem lol. My mood really plummets when they're involved.