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ok. it seems like all the people that left for college and were scared and wanted to come home are finally finding out it's not so bad. it's kinda awesome actually.
And the more they're loving college, the less I'm <3ing high-school.
Now, dont get me wrong. I love (some) of the people. And I know that I probably wouldn't want to change it if I could....but I'm seriously fed up with life in the glass bubble. I want to be free, I want to be gone. I want to feel complete again..
Im not sad about him being in college anymore. That passed when I sad goodbye thursday. I was OK with him being there, because I knew he was just as unhappy as I was, but he wasn't loosing it. we weren't loosing it. we're still us, and I think we're better than we ever were before. That's what makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning. It's not a matter of being able to knock a date off the calender, another one down on a long way to go, it's a matter of getting to talk to him again, to have him make me laugh, to just see his screen name and get a flash of butterflies.
I live for that.
Im sad about not being able to be as happy as he seems right now. I'm jealous, yeah, I'll admit. he's got a great family, awesome parents, a roommate he knows and gets along with, and he's doing what makes him happy. I want that chance. And I dont want to wait for it. I want to be down there already, settling into a routine, enjoying being on my own, and not having to worry about everything here.
I miss him like mad. Like, hardcore mad. And especially since well...stuff's come up. I was fine, like I said, after we got home thursday. Actually, more when I woke up friday. I was still numb and teary-eyed thursday night. But when Wednesday came around, well, things changed. And I feel incomplete. It's like my better half is somewhere else, and I just dont feel like it's all me anymore. I know that I'll get to see him, and that makes everything better, but its just a matter of waiting until then, that's what gets me. I just dont want to wait.
I'm so impatient. And Impossibly in love.
I cant wait to see your smile, to feel your arms around me again....the tears will fall once more, but every one of them will be joyful. I love you Ryan! Friday cant get here quick enough!!
And the more they're loving college, the less I'm <3ing high-school.
Now, dont get me wrong. I love (some) of the people. And I know that I probably wouldn't want to change it if I could....but I'm seriously fed up with life in the glass bubble. I want to be free, I want to be gone. I want to feel complete again..
Im not sad about him being in college anymore. That passed when I sad goodbye thursday. I was OK with him being there, because I knew he was just as unhappy as I was, but he wasn't loosing it. we weren't loosing it. we're still us, and I think we're better than we ever were before. That's what makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning. It's not a matter of being able to knock a date off the calender, another one down on a long way to go, it's a matter of getting to talk to him again, to have him make me laugh, to just see his screen name and get a flash of butterflies.
I live for that.
Im sad about not being able to be as happy as he seems right now. I'm jealous, yeah, I'll admit. he's got a great family, awesome parents, a roommate he knows and gets along with, and he's doing what makes him happy. I want that chance. And I dont want to wait for it. I want to be down there already, settling into a routine, enjoying being on my own, and not having to worry about everything here.
I miss him like mad. Like, hardcore mad. And especially since well...stuff's come up. I was fine, like I said, after we got home thursday. Actually, more when I woke up friday. I was still numb and teary-eyed thursday night. But when Wednesday came around, well, things changed. And I feel incomplete. It's like my better half is somewhere else, and I just dont feel like it's all me anymore. I know that I'll get to see him, and that makes everything better, but its just a matter of waiting until then, that's what gets me. I just dont want to wait.
I'm so impatient. And Impossibly in love.
I cant wait to see your smile, to feel your arms around me again....the tears will fall once more, but every one of them will be joyful. I love you Ryan! Friday cant get here quick enough!!